Remember those key "Hollywood" phrases, "Why I outta!"...
Honestly, I had a "blog" brewing about how modern day slavery still exists and how many haitians we love are hurting because of sin & injustice. I have thoughts and other friend's words from powerful blogs spinning in my heart and mind producing strong emotions and incredible passion...
Then, after a day of monthly IHDP's (Individual Holistic Development Plans) meetings with our House of Moses student's your heart doesn't have the energy to hold the terrible things in with the good. It's almost as black and white as when the words says
-be hot or cold
-You are for me or against Me
-You can't serve two Gods.
I don't mean to take these out of context at all but the extremes of these describes the hugeness of how God has turned my sadness into Joy!
Not that it's not okay for your heart to break over the things that break the heart of God or to have righteous anger over wrong things BUT I can't dwell there and I HAVE to forgive, pray for my friends and even the persecutors. Slowly, the deep love that explodes in this home is consuming and both emotions can't linger together. So, there is peace. Peace that comes from the conversations from one of the questions on their monthly "report;" What can WE as House Parents do help meet your needs? And multiple ones say Continue to love me unconditionally. One girl said, Please don't leave us - she actually said in kreyol that your love would be "pou net" Which means forever.
In Christ, isn't the love we share eternal. The overwhelming assurance and confidence in that is so powerful.
We got the joy of sharing with another student that we are praying with mountain moving faith that these few years of leadership and discipleship in their hearts and lives would cover years of suffering, doubting their worth, feeling unloved and unwanted and many other vises of the enemy to kill, steal and destroy what God is building up.
Today, in one of the boys meetings, he says, "Even though we are not from your stomach you love us as we are and I pray that God continues to give you that love for me more and more." After explaining that though our love is from God, it is humanly imperfect, we tell him that God's model for the family is healing and restoring because of the power of love and it was his design for our lives to reflect Him and his love in order to bring Him glory. You can see an identity in Christ that brings peace that wipes out the label orphan all over them. It is beautiful.
No longer does anything else matter.
It's easy to focus on the humbling opportunity to pray for John as he teaches Bible at a local trade school, meet with local pastors and encourage them about the schools and churches in their community. Meet with multiple people about upcoming "conferences" (revivals), so excited about the opportunities to preach in the next month and the list goes on and on...Yes, LOL all in one day in Haiti!
So, tonight as my husband leaves the room to go play xbox while the generator is on with our haitian brother or as he says, "big boy time" because all our children are in bed because they all have school tomorrow, he says to me, I want you to know, Today when ---one of our daughters skyped with a third grade class in the states, when they asked her who she looks up to and admires, she answered, "Many people, but Vanah (our oldest Haitian daughter and graduate studying in the U.S.) and my mom, Christi." Well, I want to be worthy of that sweet honor. I can't waste my time venting about the other junk, that's like watching the news in the U.S...I'm filled with the desire to share these things.
In Proverbs 31 when it says, they will rise up and call her blessed...the context of the BLESSED translated is Happy. I want to be a contagious, spirit filled happy mom that absolutely leaves a legacy God will use to see lives changed and souls saved, even amongst terrible situations, hurting loved ones, poverty, injustice - Our Savior is still on His throne and in the end, there is VICTORY! I'm going to claim that tonight as God's mercy and grace floods my heart.
God sees everything. He knows everything. He cares...he loves beyond our understanding. He is BIG and He's Mine & I am his...that something worth my time, my everything!
