This is my first blog...a good friend of mine says it's good therapy. I don't really know who I'm writing to.
My life lesson lately has been to seek what it means to live by faith... 16 years of ministry, 11 years of marriage, three beautiful children 9 years and 2 three year olds, a live-in intern/ex-student.... 4-H rabbits, a dog, a puppy, and life is truly as Matt. says in the beatitudes: blessed. It is NOT always easy; this season is filled with assurance and peace and yet the uncertainty of what's to come. What is God's will for our family? Will we ever be in a place where we feel we are free to live out biblically what we beleive the "church" should be? Will we always feel like spritual freaks? Do any of those things matter as long as we are seeking our Savior - Matt 6:33?
I feel like the Isrealites or maybe Paul as he confessed that he should be at a place that he was still striving to live out. Faith is a gift of God and one thing he has give as God has not only been faithful but truly miraculous in our life, ministry, and marriage.
Through ups and downs; trials and tribulations we have found overcoming victory in God's faithfulness. We know what it means to be wrapped in the unconditional love of Christ and our hearts desire is to live that out and leave that legacy.
I have so much on my heart and that I want to share but for now- it's Haiti. My oldest daughter was suppose to go with my husband and I after the first of the year and after the earthquake was not able to. It is almost June and we are both signed up to go on a June mission to lead a Summer camp VBS. We are not funded; the air conditioner went out; we have a newly adopted daughter whose adoption is not finalized, yet I am in awe of the peace that I have knowing God has it under control. I KNOW he is faithful and will provide. Sometimes it's hard not knowing how, when or where provision is coming but we will follow by faith.
How did I get to a place where I am not consumed with worry, doubt or many of the other confusing emotions that we humanly struggle with.
Last Janurary I led a Christmas Shoebox/Medical team to Haiti and was home about thirty hours when the earthquake hit. The country had been as good as we had ever experienced. You could clearly tell that it had been a year of fruitfulness and peace. The next few days were a test of faith to trust God and His will for our mission ministry partners and dear haitian friends. The deepest heart weight was the well-being of our daughter. We had been serving at her orphanage for two years and did not know how her and the other children were.
If you would have told me when I hugged and kissed her good-bye that she would be home in ten days I don't know if I would have beleived you. Oh, me of little faith...
I sat in the Port au Prince airport on Jan. 10th and saw a caucasian mother with a haitian little girl. I said did you just get her. She replied with immediate tears, "yes after three and a half years!" I rejoiced with her and made it to the restroom just barely for my tears. I knelt in that bathroom and cried out to the Lord that I was not that strong. (There is MUCH more to the story that I will add as I have time.)
I found myself desperate until I received a call from our daughter's orphanage director saying he was taking her to the consulate to see if she could get Humanitarian Parole for adoption out of the country. I didn't hear another word until I got a call that the US airforce had landed with our daughter in Florida.
We usually annually do a youth camp in Haiti in Feb. during the Haitian Mardi Gras. This was going to be the first time my daughter went on a foreign mission with us; that all changed with the emergency help for the earthquake. This Feb with a new miraculous addition we went for very different purposes. Our orphanage was in need of food and gas for generators along with money and oveall hope and encouragement. We took a team and was able to see God's hand mightily as we witnessed the devestation of a country that we love.
Now, May we find ourselves carrying on with pastoral ministry at our local US church body. Basking in the daily issues of Seeking the funds to return to foreign missions, live in community with the interns that are about to come for the Summer and pour out our justice seeking heart for genuine faith.
